This house was built for laser tag.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So apparently I’m into choking now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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