Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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