i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
