was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize