Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on

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(301): View more from Maryland

It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.

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(785): View more from Kansas

your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us

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(706): View more from Georgia

It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?

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(817): View more from Texas

I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.

Fav 1 490 824
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality

Fav 3 395 158
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.

Fav 0 49 15
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