she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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