Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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