Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
