it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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