You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
