Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You can't special order awesome
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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