Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've blown a few things in my day
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
