Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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