I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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