You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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