She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
