There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
