Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
