Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
