Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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