Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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