we have pet lesbian snakes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
