the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
