i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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