she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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