If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
