1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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