dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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