she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
