also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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