meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize