Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
