This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
