So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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