She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
