so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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