the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish you could order shots online.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
