i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
