She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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