I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize