just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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