dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
