She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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