girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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