He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
