Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
