I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
