I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I believe in your delicious
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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