I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
