i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
