I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
