are you so shy because you have an std?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
