well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
