We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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