the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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