He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
