i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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