I hope mine doesn't look like that
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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