In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
