She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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