Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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