we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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